Why Women Deeply Desire Ethnic Lovers!

Why Women Deeply Desire Ethnic Lovers; 

Reverse most of how white men interact with women and you have the typical Latin or African lover!!! My friend from Zimbabwe told me that in his culture you are not a man unless you pleasure a woman completely. He admitted  "Its still a power trip, that's part of why we love to do it, we love feeling all powerful, but to make her writhe in ecstasy, this gives us a rush!!! It's proof I am a man who is truly potent and powerful" How about that! The power to PLEASURE HER!... instead of the power to dominate her, or subjugate some other man! He went on to describe how his uncle taught him how its done…."you pleasure her all night and you never cum until maybe the next time you see her after another long time spent with attention totally on her, that was my tactic this week with my girlfriend." he said. Apparently this was a very successful technique for his Uncle because he ended up with two wives who adore him (and each other). The two wives actually draw straws for who gets to be with him that night. The two wives also cook together and raise children together in total familial peace! Not to mention sexual bliss and spiritual Goddess harmony!  

My friend from Peru told me a story that explains some of this. He said he  was standing in a group of white guys and latino guys from all over the world. He told me "We were talking about pleasuring women. The question was "How much pleasure should you give a woman?"All the Latin guys agreed you are not a man unless you fully pleasure a woman, ( cocks being involved was not a priority as long as she got totally satisfied ). This means she is brought into heaven all the way. We insisted, "If you don't do this one thing, of pleasuring the woman, you are not a man, period! This is how you earn your manhood"  But the white guys didn't know what we were talking about, they said it was humiliating to have to get on their knees, so going down on a woman made them feel emasculated. And they added "if it's a one night stand it matters even less if you please her". Us Latinos suggested that if you do a really good job on a one night stand you may get to do it again. The white guys didn't feel it was worth it! As long as they had their way they felt masculine by being dominant. We Latinos couldn't  even fathom this kind of attitude being so out of touch with the fun of pleasuring women!"

So many of us women haven't had the positive reinforcement of being responded to by a man who feels gratitude to be allowed to please us!  So secretly we dream of love that is fulfilling to our hearts and bodies. We feel ashamed, and wonder "do I just not love my partner enough?" …" Should any of my secret desires matter? Am I heartlessly lustful? Is that a sin?Isn't it true that unconditional love must be self sacrificing?"..... Yeah but its no fun! And what good does it do us when we sacrifice our own pleasure? The man ends up thinking we have no needs, no desires, no wishes dear to our hearts. Or he thinks they are simply not as important as his own. Giving him what he wants with out admitting what we really want, and standing up for it for as long as it takes….is well …a lot of work. 

Why not choose some one from a culture where your womanly happiness is the whole premise of relating? Can you imagine that???Denying ourselves the right to pleasure leaves us women out of our own story!  we  never wake up  our men. Our pleasure on multidimensional levels awakens our men. From experiencing bliss through us they become attuned to care about the women and children and nature that represents what we all need to value. But a faked orgasm does not awaken anyone or change anything. And if pleasure for you is not actually sexual, your pleasure in whatever it is in, is still the key to your heart…and well our woman hearts are the real door to our Pussies! 

So win win win for every one when a woman's hearts desires are met!

Here I will now present to you some of the problems women of any ethnicity might have with "white" men as lovers. "White man" I use loosely to mean any man of mainly patriarchal descent. I write this on behalf of my all my sisters who wonder why they stay, or if they want to bother with men at all anymore. I offer this on behalf of any man who wonders why his efforts to seduce women dont seem to be working, or wonder why women leave them so soon.  For example, a "compliment " A guy paid me, when I was really down and insecure was , "how does it feel to have once been one of the hottest women any of us guys ever knew?" I was shocked by the statement, and immediately even more depressed. Now that's not actually a compliment, its an insult. He was a black guy raised in New England! A compliment should be in present tense and make a woman feel wonderful right now. It also should be truly felt, not flattery which is a lie. Remember just because you can't see her beauty doesn't mean she isn't beautiful. It actually means you are blind, and you are also domesticated to see only one stereotype as beautiful. You have possibly lost your ability to feel chemistry and see wild beauty and value authenticity!

We're starving! 

White guys tend to deny us!

they usually don't know how to make sacrifices us in ways that make us feel valued!

they don't know how to shower us with compliments!

They are afraid of and disoriented by our voluptuous womanly bodies!

They want us to keep looking and acting like girl- children! And their masculinity depends on it!

They ignore our small requests, and take no pleasure in being our domestic heroes!

They pressure us to be skinny muscular  and go hiking, and tell us our softness is not healthy…

(its just not manly! They want us to be more guy like! maybe they are secretly gay?)

They don't open doors or do manly things that  create polarity.

When it comes to equality they think its about making us pay for dinner and mo the lawn!

They rarely like to eat pussy! If they do it you have to make them stop annoying you! 

(because they do it cause they think have to be modern men, not because they are dying to drink the nectar!)

If they do go down on you they want you to respond the way they had in mind to the technique they have developed,

 instead of responding to the woman!!

 They don't allow themselves to express their feelings directly in ways that integrate their hearts with their cocks!

If we get pregnant they want us to either have the child regardless of our own desires, or have an abortion to protect them from change!

Even if we are sobbing that we want to keep our baby, they do everything they can to make us doubt ourselves and our love for his unborn child . They don't value family as a way of becoming a full man by becoming a father and husband surrounded by love.

They value freedom independence and their leisure time activities more than family .

They haven't developed the wild man crazy creative, instinctual, intuitive freedom of loving as they want to.

They don't feel they have the right to fully shower her with unique flowers of sacred words!  

They don't know how to think with their hearts. And so they don't understand her way of knowing directly through her feelings!

They love with their mind (and choose us for good reasons that make sense), instead of trusting their unreasonable heart and gut,  

and then they wonder why there is no passion and why "love" fizzles!

They don't bother to ask her questions all along the way. Instead they just tell her, finish her sentences,

 and babble as if she has no mind or need for her own interpretation of life that they could benefit from!

They experience anxiety in silence, and dont know how to psychically be in communion!

They make primary life decisions without her that will influence the rest of her life and never even consult her!

They don't understand family team effort and all its sacrifices for the blessing of togetherness!

They want to control the money they earn, and don't let her manage the house hold, They make her justify anything she wants, 

and then when she does they just say "No" even if she is earning half or more of the income! 

They make her scrounge to take care of herself and everyone!

They set themselves up as fathers who call the shots instead of as equal partners!

They cannot identify their feelings, and so listening to her feelings makes them feel incompetent!

They don't understand that every woman is different and she's different every time!!

They put their work so high up on the priority list that real intimacy can never build!

They have yet to put their heart in their hands and hold her hand with wordless communication!

They don't know how to stay in a mood and create date rituals of romance for her!  

Intact it never dawns on them that candles, or a fire, or the stars ,or the moon ,

or the ocean, should matter as to what you get to receive from her…come on !

 She is born of nature ! her love opens to you inside the beauty of her elements!.

If they get interested in her pleasure they take a course and want to use the book!

They don't understand that turning her on starts all day, by penetrating her heart her spirit and intellect first with eye gazing

They don't ask questions and listen to her thoughts on varied topics!

They don't join with her to psychically offerings on behalf of community!

They don't open to her wisdom on financial matters that reflect her values!

Her heart is the door to her pussy, they need to warm her up all day! But they think for-play starts after they play.

They talk too much about stupid stuff! They won't shut up about traffic, and ass holes they are going to seek revenge on, and their past attachments.

Its so noisy for her dealing with his meaningless negative speech that a woman can't feel anything , neither can he!

They can not sustain eye contact during love making, unless they are seeking from her a solace that they believe is not in them selves.

They don't bother to love every part of a woman's body. Instead they zero in on supposed erogenous zones, 

instead of allowing her whole being to open up as heavenly erogenous zone-less -ness!

they have short attention spans focused almost entirely on their cocks. 

So even if they can go all night, they forget that cocks are one dimensional compared to reaching all of her genitals with mouths and hands.

They aren't in it to please her because their idea of being a man involves taking and concurring instead of serving on bended knees.

They think pornography is real and assume the only way for there to be something in it for themselves is if they get to cum. 

So they never get to learn about their own multidimensional capacity for rolling pleasure much less hers.

They are often unmoved by actual women's energy, yet highly stimulated by the porn industry where they squander their wad so they have only minimal sexual energy left to use to explore with her.

These guys have been so over privileged that they may have never had a right of passage into manhood,( they never had to take care of siblings at a young age or help put food on the table as a teenager, or deal with death up close, or take care of elders.....) 

These guys expect sex after she has done countless things all day for him that mothers do for children.

 So she gets repulsed, she has to force herself through it , because 'He's just not really a man to her, he's more like a baby and that is a sickening turn off.

they want their own way and don't understand that inside her way, are more gifts for them than they can possibly dream of for themselves,

 until they try her way!

They get super uptight  if we dance in hot ways with other men, or dress sexy in public, yet they lust after pornographic ideals.

 Why do women seem so frigid to these men? We are that frigid with them! Because we are so turned off by all of this!

Take the same "frigid woman" and give her all the magic love medicine she has been missing and she will be a Love-Goddess in full bloom!

We all need to come together and listen to her loving voice. The voice of a woman in ecstasy can penetrate and awaken! Yet  on our own, each of us is overwhelmed and the usual isolation from each other means we feel we are the only ones going crazy. Men need to listen to women. Women need to speak up. Men need to listen to older men, and open to the wisdom of new cultural perspectives on sex and love. As women we tend to think, "what we don't ever get, is all there isn't". Yet we have no peep holes into love and sexual satisfaction, unless we offer each other windows to see the possibilities of what we could ask for. As women If we speak up to a spouse and we are all alone we are quickly shot down. Then we fear if we keep speaking about our disappointment we risk losing what little support we have found. So if she speaks up realize she is risking everything to do so. You should listen because if you don't you will be the bath water, she will definitely keep the baby! "Baby" in this case is a hotter guy! If we try to speak up and are not responded to then we women lapse back  into deathly silence again. 

Or we can eventually become unreasonably bitchy when our requests are routinely ignored. When we women do start to talk about our needs, we often sound harsh, shrill or hysterical. This is because many of us  women ( particularly white women) have been so repressed we can barely find our voice until it surfaces like a scream. Yet this is often totally opposite for a Latina or Black woman who comes from from a well loved mother. She knows how to ask things of her man in ways that have direct success.  In fact her way of asking  makes her man feel all the more loved by the graceful way seduces him with her desire for his attention at the same time! 

I owe the radical feminists and lesbians who raised me in Berkeley, my great gratitude for the courage of my voice!  But as a white girl, without a healthy male- female- dance to learn from, my way of asking for what I want often used to backfire. This is because my request used to be so desperate by the time said it, that it came out like a demand. No hot guy wants to be commanded! My demanding tone also had the belief "I will never be met, I don't matter that much to him, he will never wake up" and became at times a self fulfilling prophesy. 

let me say that I am not writing this to put down in any way the amazing white-man lovers I have had the great pleasure to know. This essay gives them all the more credit for beating the odds! I learned what I don't want, from encounters that turned me off. They turned me off so bad that I did not give them any more of my time after the "WHITE GUY SYNDROME " BECAME EVIDENT. Now keep in mind there are very many tremendously positive aspects to how white NewEngland men have adapted to feminism. And this is so multilayered that white men can now actually become a woman's true best friend. This is no easy feat! But being a girls best friend might not be his ultimate goal! And there are perhaps even a few Ethnic guys who some how caught "white -guy -syndrome" by mistake. But who ever you are, or are not, I pray that in  this essay you find the cure you have been looking for!  I need to celebraste that so many Latino men from many countries, African men from many different countries, African American men, and Jewish men usually have the opposite affliction. Its called "Being in love!"

Of course there are amazing sensitive and powerfully masculine white guy lovers, and there are also lousy, way too macho, ethnic guy lovers. And any guy of any culture doing drugs as a habitual way of coping, I have learned at last, presents danger and a waist of a good woman's time. But the typical reality is that most white New England guys ( excluding Jewish guys) have received no love-training.  I believe this may be partially because they do not come from matriarchal cultures. This is a great setback for them. A typical white boy growing up sees a closed blossom of a mother in one way or another ,wether she's rich or poor.They did not get the benefit of seeing their fathers serving their sensually lush and fully blooming zoftig mothers, just the love she craved. They did not get to dance in the kitchen with aunties teaching them salsa moves, they did not get given the low down on how to satisfy women's voracious appetite…. once it wakes up it can be really carnivorous! 

That cock jealousy is just silly. Anyway, women love men who pleasure their spirit heart and help them pragmatically raise kids and be of benefit to our communities with our joyful gifts to others, then eventually we also dream of our own body pleasure. Any man who serves her in all of these ways is very  likly to be the one to win her. He will be chosen over over all other cocks, ethnicities, and wealth! But if you really love women, and you are a White guy, or gal, make friends with Black and Latino men and women and learn from them ( maybe we should all learn some Spanish or Portuguese too?). Please make up for the lost time that your ancestors did not spend on learning to pleasure women. And for me, please give yourself  the gift of totally focusing on her pleasure first, (always) for a timeless eternity, ok? Don't even ask "what is in it for me?" what is in it for you is beyond all words, is beyond imagining , is in active involvement with heaven here on earth! In her!!! She will respond to you with a level of devotion you are due now to receive! Love! Love! Love! 

Eve-Lalita!

Ps. Please Lets support Obama right now in his efforts to start redoing our jail system. Many great people I speak of are incarcerated for mistakes any one of us could make. You and I would need compassion and some help to over come the many trials of racial discrimination that a no mercy jailing system uses to run a modern slave trade. Here is a link to Obama speaking at a jail. He's asking us all to become more compassionate. we have more people in jail than any nation on earth. The majority in jail are of Ethnic origins. So anyone who is white must look within and ask "how have we allowed this? How can we change this now?" We need many, many of these amazing, good people back home with their families!  And us women really need them in community to pass on to all of us, the matriarchal bliss path of their forefathers!   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3hGZ7AMk39Q